Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
