he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
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You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
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Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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