Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
