I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?