So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
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No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
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Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.