Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
