he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
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Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
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Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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