Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
If I die, sorry about rent.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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