I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
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