If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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