i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
