I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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