Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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