He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is