Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
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Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
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Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.