Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.