Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.

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  (713): we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company. http://tfl.nu/8nsz
  Replies (7) Good night (1174) Bad night (528)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.

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  (239): Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread. http://tfl.nu/62jg
  Replies (18) Good night (7870) Bad night (944)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  No period for spring break; use this wisely.

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  (919): No period for spring break; use this wisely. http://tfl.nu/lbmo
  Replies (21) Good night (5391) Bad night (610)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  OMG THAT WAS YOU?!

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  (207): Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building. (603): OMG THAT WAS YOU?! http://tfl.nu/kd7y
  Replies (42) Good night (9490) Bad night (1446)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.

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  (832): Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me. http://tfl.nu/x609
  Replies (5) Good night (2520) Bad night (794)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands

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  (847): Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands http://tfl.nu/o72z
  Replies (22) Good night (2186) Bad night (1171)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.

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  (765): Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence. http://tfl.nu/7p55
  Replies (7) Good night (1663) Bad night (617)
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  (707): View more from California

  there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.

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  (707): there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced. http://tfl.nu/voth
  Replies (28) Good night (1264) Bad night (5261)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.

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  (541): And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background. http://tfl.nu/q3vc
  Replies (6) Good night (1633) Bad night (686)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?

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  (301): That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit? http://tfl.nu/b6j9
  Replies (1) Good night (829) Bad night (396)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.

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  (361): Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment. http://tfl.nu/oa4j
  Replies (1) Good night (1238) Bad night (443)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.

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  (720): THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT. http://tfl.nu/chrb
  Replies (5) Good night (409) Bad night (691)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)

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  (443): according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :) http://tfl.nu/n706
  Replies (3) Good night (887) Bad night (284)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.

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  (678): Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on. http://tfl.nu/4vca
  Replies (1) Good night (1133) Bad night (280)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness

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  (615): A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness http://tfl.nu/k0cp
  Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (273)

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