Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm getting married
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"