I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize