how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
