So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
