How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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