things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
