She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Two words: blizzard sex
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
