So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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