this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
