Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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