dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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