There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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