it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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