Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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