erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
