They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
