I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
