Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
