Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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