i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
