They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
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there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
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I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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