This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
