She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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