Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The adults are the big ones right?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize