Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
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