i may or may not be watching the land before time
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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