Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
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Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
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Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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