You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
