no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
