somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
