i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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