when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
