You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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