I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
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Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
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My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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