guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
