There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
