Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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