kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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