we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
