You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
