good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
send nudes
from the living room?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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