So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I have post one night stand depression
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